Giving myself a KICK!
Tomorrow is the measure up for the start of the 12WBT and the goal task is the only task I haven’t really sat down and heavily thought about. Admittedly for tomorrow, I am a more scared than excited. Most of my excitement over the programme feels like it has left me, so I am hoping that completing this goal task today will bring all that back for me with the task tomorrow. This lull in excitement normally is the beginning for failed commitments, especially because there is no reason to keep up this 12WBT up for anyone, except myself.
It is true; I don’t have much self-worth. Like to think I do, but it is all talk and no walk. The severe depression over most of my life did not help much. I remember in my early teens, vowing to just forget about myself, my ambitions, my goals and my happiness to just do what I was told to do/be and help out others around me. When I left home, this idea almost threw me to suicide.
I learned a bit in the last few years. Once I over-heard the conversation of, “She should be doing what she is supposed to be doing,” and it snapped. I just learned that the people I was trying to please all my life were not listening to me, cause doing what I was “suppose to be doing” nearly killed me…
Now here I am, scared…really scared. There is a little voice in my head saying ANYTHING is possible, and YOU CAN DO THIS! But I am still scared. I don’t regret breaking away from my family, and I am lucky to have found the most supportive husband who I love and adore. But doing this, and actually achieving a goal(s) I have set myself, is really scary for me!
Don’t get me wrong, my parents are good people. They just want to do what is best for me, and if I had come from such poor settings like they have, I would think the same as them. They did very well in providing for us, but I just don’t have the same priority of material wealth before holistic. You meet that stereotype of people who are doing what they are told to do, and they are unhappy. I was unhappy my entire childhood, I am not going to be that and I am going to do this. Take control of my health, my lifestyle and my life…So now I have to be serious about this commitment, this… ALL OF THIS! is not just a commitment to me, but to my husband, my future family, and all those around me
Now let’s stop being side tracked and get on with it 😀
So to get somewhere effectively, I have to set some S.M.A.R.T goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-based).
- Swim 200m
- Run 10km under 1hour
- And still be at my ideal weight
- Cooking all meals for myself, family and guests
- Run 5km without stopping
- Swimming at least twice a fortnight
- Exercising as a Daily Routine to my life
- Be Close to my Ideal weight 55kg – 56kg
- Run 2.5km without stopping
- Collected at least 30 of my favourite and healthy recipes
- Start learning to swim properly
- Pick up a Yoga/Pilates Class
- Run 1km without stopping
- Cut out all pre-made and processed foods, and start cooking more
- Swim at least twice
- Comfortably touch my toes.
How to get there?
Well, in tackling the first month, I have included yoga/stretching into my morning routine. The Kitchen clean up really helped with the food goal and I am starting to go out jogging now in the afternoons. 🙂
Yay! Don’t we all love rewards! So this is how I am going to reward myself:
- 63kg: Get a New water Bottle
- 61kg: Get a new pair of headphones
- 59kg: Get a mini Spa Treatment
- 57kg: Get a New pair of customised Nike’s!
- 55kg: $100 to spend at Lorna Jane
- 55kg for 2 Weeks: Splurge a bit more on a new wardrobe!
- 55kg for 4 Weeks: Photo shoot for me and my partner!
- 55kg for 6 Weeks: Confidence to pick up my study where I left it!
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This Morning’s Rant (feel free to skip this little bit)
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning… A pain in the back of my head and a stuffy feeling all over… My bread failed to bake properly for the morning and my husband woke up negatively because he can’t sleep. It is so hard to get him out of bed so he can get to work on time. I have tried to get him to meditate, and set a separate room for his work so that stress is not through the house…but he is still stressed, and I keep feeling like I fail in not being able to help him. On top of all of this, I AM PMS-ing!!
Once I finally kicked him out of the house, I had a glass of water, put a new lot of ingredients into the bread maker, put on my shoes and put the dogs on a lead and took them for a walk….breath….breeaaatthhh…
Ok, rant over… now 😛 I came home to fresh bread, and a nice little work out;